Dead Love: Squirrel Redux

So, if I hadn’t seen three really cute little squirrels this morning as I was drifting about my neighborhood, I wouldn’t have thought of Foamy and my day would have been far more tranquil … or perhaps it was the pancakes and the huge pools of strawberry syrup that they were sitting in, which I slurped up, thinking, “Oh, this is going to put quite an edge on my day” that tightened the screws. Squirrels or sugar, my world very quickly turned frenetic and that meant it was time for an energizing rant from the little rodent.

This time I was drawn to toast—the “Amityville Toaster” to be exact. I guess I really like the way Foamy and Germaine keep popping things into the toaster, upping the stakes until voila! a crispy human hand. Quite magical. I could try it with my toaster, but that would probably entail an entire mug of strawberry syrup, and I’ve had quite enough for one day.

Well, I’m off to watch the squirrels or watch them watch me  with their beady little eyes. They kind of fixate on you as you approach. They are quite fearless … and so soft you want to cradle the rabid little things …

—Erin Orison, DEAD LOVE/the Daily Slice