Dead Love: Zombie Jokes from the ZIA

Everyone needs a laugh on the solstice when the shadows are long and the shades are about, so I was mighty pleased when certain ZIA members began sending me jokes. OK, given the nature of the organization, they had to be about … zombies … but I just about died laughing because zombie jokes tear me up.

You know, jesting about the undead can make people feel quite lively.

So here are a few zombie jokes to keep those parties from being deadly dull.

Zombie joke questions:

1. Why did the one-handed zombie cross the road?
2. What kind of rejection will turn a zombie on?
3. What streets do zombies like best?
4. Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
   
5. How did the zombie know it would lose its head?
6. Why did the zombie lose the lawsuit?
7. What do you do when your house is surrounded by zombies?
8. Why did the zombie go to the hospital?
9. What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
10. What did the zombie say when it ate the comedian?
11. What do vegetarian zombies yell?

Zombie joke answers:

1. To get to the second-hand shop.
2. The cold shoulder.
3. Dead Ends.
4. No, they like to eat their fingers separately.
5. It read its horrorscope.
6. It had no leg to stand on.
7. Hope it’s Halloween.
8. It wanted to learn a few sick jokes.
9. Head and shoulders
10. This tastes funny.
11. Graaiiiinnnnss!!  GRAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNS!!!

—Erin Orison, DEAD LOVE/the Daily Slice