Everyone needs a laugh on the solstice when the shadows are long and the shades are about, so I was mighty pleased when certain ZIA members began sending me jokes. OK, given the nature of the organization, they had to be about … zombies … but I just about died laughing because zombie jokes tear me up.
You know, jesting about the undead can make people feel quite lively.
So here are a few zombie jokes to keep those parties from being deadly dull.
Zombie joke questions:
- Why did the one-handed zombie cross the road?
- What kind of rejection will turn a zombie on?
- What streets do zombies like best?
- Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
- How did the zombie know it would lose its head?
- Why did the zombie lose the lawsuit?
- What do you do when your house is surrounded by zombies?
- Why did the zombie go to the hospital?
- What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
- What did the zombie say when it ate the comedian?
- What do vegetarian zombies yell?
Zombie joke answers:
- To get to the second-hand shop.
- The cold shoulder.
- Dead Ends.
- No, they like to eat their fingers separately.
- It read its horrorscope.
- It had no leg to stand on.
- Hope it’s Halloween.
- It wanted to learn a few sick jokes.
- Head and shoulders
- This tastes funny.
- Graaiiiinnnnss!! GRAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNS!!!
—Erin Orison, DEAD LOVE/the Daily Slice