Dead Love: Zombie Fitness Program

When the undead start coming, the living start running.

Yes, you can easily outrun a zombie … as long as you aren’t one too. So that hair trigger should include a fast twitch of the muscles when you hear the word “brainzzzz.”

ZombieFit, an exercise class in St. Charles, Illinois, is designed to prepare you in this way. Instructor Jesse Randall trains the uninitiated in a series of parkour maneuvers (so NINJA!) that include climbing, hurdling, free falling and breaking away. You can see how useful this will be when the gobblin’ mob is in pursuit. Once you’re fully surrounded, all the automatic weapons in the world won’t help.

I’m going to add this to my workout when I am in New York. One of my pals in the ZIA is preparing the training, even as I write. You should consider these moves as well. Pull-ups, bench dips, air squats, leaps—when a zombie apocalypse is at hand, don’t meet it lying down.

—Erin Orison, DEAD LOVE/the Daily Slice

  • Nbruning

    Erin, they'll never catch you with me as your trainer. They haven't got ME yet, and you know NYC is thick with zombies.

  • boldlow

    Hi Erin – very cool reminder that we've got some control over our destiny when the z-horde is on the move, especially with the skill set parkor and freerunning develop. Good thing we've got a few routines down already – maybe we can show Nbruning a couple of things!

  • Patricialjutic

    Erin – I could use some exercise, but first I'll have to tone up on my automatic weapons skills.