Dead Love: Heavy Metal

I’m keen on metal parts. Those of you who really know me, are clear on this. They’re a big part of our lives, and I mean this in a very personal way. For me it’s ankles, wrists, but what about all the knee and hip replacements out there. Let’s just say that bone repair is reinvigorating.

Broken or fractured bone can be surgically repaired using wire, pins, plates, nails, rods and screws and, although materials vary, stainless steel, cobalt and titanium are the recent favorites and my vote goes to the titanium.

• Wires are sometimes used like sutures to “sew” the bones back together.
• Pins hold bone together in pieces too small to be fixed with screws.
• Plates hold fractured bone ends together. They extend along the bone and are attached with screws.
• Nails or rods are used to align long bones. They are inserted into the hollow center of the bone where the marrow usually exists and are held in place with screws.
• Screws are used alone or in conjunction with pins, plates rods and nails. They are specially designed for various forms of fractures.

When I think about bone surgery, I get a little sick, but all that pinning and plating and screwing is for a good cause. Of course the prize for metal parts addition would have to go to Wolverine.

As for the most imaginative use of metal parts, that would be by the makers of Flesh Gordon, the 1974 erotic, funny porn spoof of the 1930’s Flash Gordon sci-fi serialization; there are these dreadful robots with whirling phallic drills.

“Oooooh, shiny.”

—Erin Orison, DEAD LOVE/The Daily Slice