Dead Love: CDC and the Zombie Apocalypse

THIS IS NOT A TEST! Seriously, I mean it.

FINALLY the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is addressing the looming zombie apocalypse. Don’t be fooled into thinking this is a PR stunt. No, this is the way you get the news out without causing a nationwide panic.

The overt message is that if you are prepared for a zombie apocalypse with emergency supplies and medicines and have a plan for evacuation, temporary shelter and meeting points, you’ll be prepared for anything. The covert message: There’s an apocalypse on the horizon … and who would know this better than the CDC?

Maybe they are worried about tomorrow’s “Judgement Day.” More likely they just happen to be in the know regarding upcoming disasters of the viral persuasion.

Here’s what they have to say specifically about the eventuality:

“It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas …”

Did this news fall on deaf ears? Hardly. It’s been reported that there was so much traffic, the blogsite crashed. But you can read the entire warning here.

OK, one more thing to think about when the horde runs for the exits.

—Erin Orison, DEAD LOVE/the Daily Slice