Dead Love: Brainloaf à la Zombie

Ever find yourself high and dry and brainless? In my attempt to keep you zombie types well nourished, I’m going to share my latest discovery: brainloaf. Yesterday I was treated to this delicious dish. Looks like a brain and is much easier to score. It’s also less likely to give you mad-anything disease … way too much of that going around.

So next time you have that zombie gathering, throw together a brainloaf. So good you won’t care where it came from.

Here’s the recipe:

Loaf:

• 2 pounds lean ground turkey
• 1/4 cup bloody goop plus a bit more

In a glass casserole lightly pat turkey and some goop together to make a lumpy oval. Make a crease lengthwise down the center. Pour more goop over the brainloaf. Bake at 350 for 1 and 1/2 hours (less if you like raw turkey).

Bloody Goop:

• 1 pound tomatoes (peeled)
• 1/2 onion (chopped)
• 2 cloves garlic (minced)
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 sprig parsley
• pinch of basil
• pinch of oregano
• salt and pepper
• red wine

Saute onion and garlic in olive oil. Finely chop tomatoes and add to pan. Mix in spices. Simmer for 1/2 hour or more. Add some wine.

Or just buy a jar of fancy tomato sauce and use that.

Bon appetit!

—Erin Orison, DEAD LOVE/The Daily Slice