Dead Love: Brainloaf à la Zombie

Ever find yourself high and dry and brainless? In my attempt to keep you zombie types well nourished, I’m going to share my latest discovery: brainloaf. Yesterday I was treated to this delicious dish. Looks like a brain and is much easier to score. It’s also less likely to give you mad-anything disease … way too much of that going around.

So next time you have that zombie gathering, throw together a brainloaf. So good you won’t care where it came from.

Here’s the recipe:


  • 2 pounds lean ground turkey
  • 1/4 cup bloody goop plus a bit more

In a glass casserole lightly pat turkey and some goop together to make a lumpy oval. Make a crease lengthwise down the center. Pour more goop over the brainloaf. Bake at 350 for 1 and 1/2 hours (less if you like raw turkey).

Bloody Goop:

  • 1 pound tomatoes (peeled)
  • 1/2 onion (chopped)
  • 2 cloves garlic (minced)
  • 1 bay leaf
  • 1 sprig parsley
  • pinch of basil
  • pinch of oregano
  • salt and pepper
  • red wine

Saute onion and garlic in olive oil. Finely chop tomatoes and add to pan. Mix in spices. Simmer for 1/2 hour or more. Add some wine.

Or just buy a jar of fancy tomato sauce and use that.

Bon appetit!

—Erin Orison, DEAD LOVE/The Daily Slice

  • J.A.

    Yum. Would go well with strawberry salad and cherry jello dessert.

  • Dick Jordan

    Can't wait for Halloween so I can serve this to ghoulish guests!

  • Kunal Mukherjee

    how about substituting with Vegan Turkey? LOL.

  • Then you’d be eating a vegetable brain! Try it and let me know how it tastes …

  • Every day is Halloween … for some of us.

  • I was thinking a bloody Mary.

  • Nancy Bruning

    Can't wait to try it. Yum! Buddha and Moses, my zombie catz are already lickin' their chops.

  • Cat women love brainloaf. Mrrrreowww.

  • Casaleanna

    EEEEEEEEw! Is the turkey alive?

  • Noooo, deader’n a zombie.

  • Pingback: Dead Love: Zombie Cookies … Not the Virtual Kind - Dead Love()